Lately for me, I have been thinking about the word "normal".
I love those wood signs you see everywhere now….they are funny, beautiful, witty, cute…I love them all. I have a few around my house and I love how each one truly speaks to me. I love how when I read them they make my mind wander to some other place.
Over the holidays my husband and I were at a party and we saw this sign hanging on the wall of a friend's home.
We looked at each other and said, "we need that!". My children (with the help from my husband of course) gave me the new sign for Christmas. And I love it!
Every day I see it and re-read it, so I have been thinking more and more about the word "normal".
Normal as defined in the dictionary is usual or ordinary, not strange.
Do you consider yourself normal? Do you fall within this definition?
I do. My whole family does. What isn't normal or ordinary is the fact our daughter lives with Rett Syndrome. She has Rett, Rett doesn't have her. She is still a "normal" girl who has the same feelings as her peers. She cries when she is upset, she laughs when something is funny, she smiles when she is happy, she flirts when there is a cute boy, she picks on her siblings…..she does all the "normal" things we all do.
However, when a stranger looks at our family ….they probably don’t see a "normal" family. We are not the "usual or ordinary" family through that stranger’s eyes.
We are more.
This is our "normal" I have had to learn over the years. "Usual and ordinary" was not going to be for us.
My "normal" is different. Not just being normal, I mean the word "normal" to me is different.
Just because we have extra challenges and things are not "usual or ordinary" all the time around our house….does that really mean we are not "normal"? Would you say we are strange? As the definition says, "not strange", is normal.
I chuckle to myself every time I read that sign. Why? Because we are a nice, "normal" family.
Our children learn from example…correct?!? Our children are the future of tomorrow….correct?!? Why not teach our children…all of our children it is okay to be different. Our children learn from example and we are their role models. And believe me they are watching you closer than you realize.
When my children do something that surprises me, I think to myself….did I say that in front of them, did I do that in front of them….and usually when I think back….I did. Having a child with special needs has been an adjustment in so many ways for our entire family, but one of the biggest impacts it has had on all of us is….we do not judge. Every person we meet is a person first and foremost. Our younger two children do not look twice at a person if they are not like them…a stranger is a person….with a story. Of course they notice if a person has a disability or if their skin is a different color or they wear a hijab, but they don't judge a person on those characteristics.
Just yesterday my son who is in kindergarten was telling me how he learned about Martin Luther King Jr in school. You could tell he was really processing what he was told about MLK, Jr. He then looked at me and said, "mom, if the laws were never changed, then I would not be able to play with some of my friends and that makes me really sad". I told him he was absolutely correct and how lucky we are to be able to embrace all people from all walks of life.
I love how my children live in a neighborhood and go to school with such a diverse group of children. This is our world today. These children are the future of tomorrow. I love how our "normal" has changed our view of the world and the people in it.
Raising children….all children is not easy. We live in a society were everyone wants to be accepted and be like everyone else, when it is okay to be different. It is important to teach this to our children. To let them know they do not have to be ordinary.
It is okay to not like what your best friend likes. It is okay not to play a sport just because every one else is. It is okay not to have something someone else has. It is okay to learn differently from your friend. It is okay if you are a slower or faster reader than your sibling or friend. It is okay if you take longer to learn a skill. It is okay if your skin is a different color. It is okay if your family celebrates different holidays. It is okay if you use a wheelchair to get around. It is okay if you have to wear a leg brace to help you walk. It is okay if you wear glasses. It is okay if you have to use a speech device to help you communicate to the world or if you need hearing aids to hear the world around you. It is okay to be different.
It is okay to be unique, to be you. It is okay to be unusual and not ordinary. It is okay to not be "normal" by societal standards. Who set those anyway?!?!?
Children are innocent. Children are free. We can learn a lot from them….if we stop to truly watch and listen. They are a breath of fresh air. They don't know what is "normal" until we define it for them.
Next time you see someone who is not "usual or ordinary"….embrace their differences….teach your children how we are all children of God. He made us all and use this as a learning and bonding time to explore differences in the world. Let's not label it. Let's celebrate the beauty in every person's story. I think you will be surprised by how much we all have in common.
And yes….remember, as far as everyone knows we are a nice normal family. Except, our "normal" has extra challenges which makes us extraordinary!
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