Team Oatmeal

If an adult needed to talk to someone about a concern or something that bothered them, they would typically know who they could turn to, to talk about these issues.  But what if you were seven and had some questions about your sister who has special needs and didn’t want to necessarily talk to your mom and dad about something that was on your mind in case it would hurt their feelings?

Well, this has been a subject that has been on my mind ever since Anna Cate had her diagnosis of Rett Syndrome.  Right now Betsie is an AMAZING sister to Anna Cate and she doesn’t let Rett Syndrome bother her.  She tells everyone all about Anna Cate and isn’t afraid to speak her mind.  Right now.  And I hope this is how it will always be.  But what if something changes?  What if she was afraid to ask someone in our family a question for fear she would hurt our feelings OR we would judge her for asking that question?

Early in the fall I was talking to a friend who has three children as well and her daughter also has special needs.  We started talking about siblings and how we wish there was a place to take them so they could talk to others who are experiencing the life of having a sibling with special needs too.  Our local Children’s Hospital used to offer this service, but hasn’t for years.  My friend mentioned she had a friend who has said in passing that she would do this if there was interest!

After a couple of phone calls our first meeting for children who have a sibling with special needs was formed!  There are two boys (both second graders) and three girls (one first grader, one third grader and one fourth grader).  They came up with a name for their group and they called themselves “Team Oatmeal” (we have no idea why…but that is okay…this is their group).  These five children met for six weeks and formed a special bond that only they understand.  During the sessions they were able to talk about their siblings and learn that it is okay to have questions and concerns.  But they also learned how to talk to someone about them and that they now have four friends they can share a concern with (five if you include the teacher too!).

The kids had so much fun with each other that the moms decided to still have them meet once a month.  We meet at a local restaurant and we let them get their own table to be able to have their own conversation.  While they may not talk about their siblings or something on their mind pertaining to their sibling with special needs, they know now that they have someone who they could talk to who would understands and will not judge.  These five children have already learned some of life’s hardest lessons and are incredibly strong and have huge hearts, but I know as they continue to grow, they are going to be amazing adults and ones we could all learn from.

I also wanted to share a story from our first monthly dinner (post 6 week class) that I shared with Girl Power 2 Cure and is now the Story of the Week.

Last Tuesday was the last class and Betsie brought in (GP2C) flower tattoos for everyone with her piece of paper from the half marathon (image above). Everyone, including the two boys put them on! The boys put them on their "muscles"!
Last night we met with the group for dinner and one of the mom's whose son is in the group told me the cutest story. He is the second of two children and his 10-year-old sister has Angelman's. He is in second grade. He went to school the day after he got the tattoo and took his long sleeve shirt off, which then revealed his tattoo. His friends started teasing him that he had a flower tattoo and he looked at them and said, "Let me tell you something, this flower is special because it stands for a syndrome my friends sister has, and I'm spreading awareness by wearing it!"
And that was the end of the teasing!
Love him!

As I said, these kids are amazing!  I am so happy that not only has Betsie found four new friends, but I also have four new friends….the moms!  It is always refreshing to find someone who understands and just “gets it”!  I think I look forward to our monthly dinners just as much as Betsie does.  And this summer I can not wait to get all the families together.  I know these friendships are going to be lasting ones.  Thank you Britt for spending these six weeks with our children and being there for them!